"The Earth is a flat planet, shaped roughly like a circle, with lots of pointy things hanging down from the underside. On the comparatively smooth topside, Europe sits in the middle of the circle, with the other continents scattered about the fringes..."

At least, that's the view of "flat-earthers" today. That's not my take on it... that's exactly what they believe...

What's more, they believe initially the church and now "all the space agencies of the world are involved in an international conspiracy to dupe the public for vast profit" according to James McIntyre - a discussion moderator (or "nazi censorship enforcer to stop people expressing an opinion contradictory to what flat-earthers would like people to think") on another Flat-Earth Society website, and all of us "globularists" (those whom believe the world is spherical) have been brain-washed as part of what these flat-earthers refer to as the "ultimate conspiracy".

It all sounds a bit... odd, doesn't it? What about all the photographs of our globular world? Fake, apparently - but DO NOT FEAR! The Flat-Earth Society website pledges the following;

"Using whatever means are deemed necessary and relying heavily on a callous disregard for the lives and well-being of our members, we have slowly but steadily been spreading the news."

Oh thank Dog! The flat-earthers are going to rise up against the globularists, risking their lives, to spread the word that the world is, indeed, a disc! Oh hold up flat-earthers, nobody gives enough of a shit about you or your delusional opinions to warrant your murders. How narcissistic could they be, honestly, I mean they actually think people might want them DEAD in an effort to silence them? Well no, because they have no credibility, their claims are nothing but absurd, and I'm yet to even meet somebody that realises their little group exist.

Back to the internet machine we go, so I can evidence some more crazy to you.

This was genuinely offered as an argument against "round Earth" theory on one Flat-Earth website;

"Using the "round Earth" theory, setting an object on the earth would be like setting grains of sand on a beach ball. Certainly a few grains would stay - right around the top, the surface is nearly horizontal - but when you stray too far from the absolute top of the ball, the grains of sand start sliding off and falling onto the ground. The Earth, if round, should behave in exactly the same fashion... Conventional thinking would suggest that the [earth's] water would just run down the sides of the [planet] (to use the analogy again, like droplets running down the sides of a beach ball) and fall into outer space."

So... these flat-earthers genuinely think their argument has logic and substance - yeah, their argument that the earth can't be globular because people would fall off the bottom and water would drop off the sides... These people must have the mindset of infants, surely!? They completely dismiss all we've learnt about gravity and offer views that I remember questioning as a six year old, satisfied they were total bollocks by seven. Even their slogan, "Deprogramming the masses since 1547" shows their lack of ability to even comprehend the English language - a biological entity cannot, by definition, be "programmed" and accordingly "deprogrammed".

The more I read about these flat-earthers, the more I am inclined to think they are collection of delusional adults with the mental development of a seven year old, probably desperate for some substance in the their empty lives.

Maybe we're all wrong, maybe now you want to become a flat-earther? Well you will have to be assessed individually by a "Flat-Earth Society Officer", which may take some time apparently due to the "sheer numbers" of applicants (that's a blatant lie. I have no evidence to prove it, but it's so obviously a lie) and you'll be expected to answer several rather personal questions that will offer your officer an insight into your mind-set and character - questions like "Which is your favorite historical figure? a) Rasputin b) Napoleon Bonaparte c) Tony Blair d) Attila The Hun" and"What is your favourite jelly-bean colour?" - I'm not joking, both these questions were taken from an official application to the Flat-Earth Society. What is a joke however, are these people, and their society.