I was on the train the other day when I came across a couple of girls, desperately trying to make up for their "wholesome" figure by dressing eccentrically with obscene amounts of make-up, fluorescent socks, shitty tops that are "oh so quirky" and one of them even went as far as an... an... UMBRELLA HAT!

It's fair enough that some people feel they need to make up for their lack of personality by wearing flamboyant clothes in an effort to appear "super random and crazy" in order to get some attention but there's got to be a line, where on one side you have pretty much every 16-17 year-old desperately trying to forge a persona through their attire, which is fair enough, and then you have these oblivious morons, who mistake looks along the lines of "" as appreciation for their "quirky" style of dress opposed to "oh my literal dog, what an attention-seeking twat", which is the reality. I mean, this girl literally had an UMBRELLA HAT. And no, it wasn't raining! But seriously, who would spend presumably the best part of a tenner on a tool to assist them only in looking like a twat?

So how might one be able to identify where this line between "striking" and "should-be-shot" lies? I don't know - I can barely dress myself as it is - but surely if you imagine that should you get hit by a car in what you're wearing and not feel convinced people would help you rather than stand there LAUGHING at you then that's a good indication that you've crossed the line.

In all seriousness, if this girl had been dragged under the very train we were on and was laying, a mangled wreck on the lines with what was left of an umbrella hat strapped to what was left of her head, I wouldn't feel the slightest bit of pity for her - I would more likely feel a sense of relief that the world had been ridded of one more of these incredibly dull, "I'm so random" kids.